The Devil's Orchard

≈18

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:59:48 GMT

Would somebody please tell me how I get stuck working on customer appreciation night at Cicero...? I mean it's obvious they're going to do a lot of business - there's no other dive quite like Cicero - but I'm not exactly appreciative. I don't think I've ever given that impression, in fact, which makes me wonder if the boss man had a bunch of idiots book tonight off leaving me stuck with the shift.

Ne, Suzaku... it looks like you'll be stuck on your own tonight. I was going to stop by, but it seems that will have to wait, now.

I wonder who else will be working tonight... Hey, Lust, will you be there?

[WRATH]
Hey, kid, what the hell is keeping you away, ne~? I haven't see you around Cicero in a while, or at all, in fact. What's the matter... getting soft?

I bet it's that girl and that ex-cop, isn't it?

You should sneak away, come to Cicero tonight. It'll be like old times, hm? You'd like that, wouldn't you? Come in through the back - and if you don't show, I'll know. And I'll come after you instead, got it~? ♥
[/WRATH]

≈17

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 14:30:54 GMT

I'm glad that holiday is over.

Now I just have to wait for all the fucking Christmas crap to blow over.

I hate this time of year.

[LUST]
You don't know me, but you might have heard about me.

You and I... need to have a little talk. After you're done working one night, just head upstairs to the apartments above Cicero.

You'll find mine at the end of the hall.
[/LUST]

[SUZAKU]
Ne, ne... you sure are quiet these days.

What's the matter, am I not causing enough trouble for you?
[/SUZAKU]

≈16

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 16:55:30 GMT

Gone... just like that, without a fucking trace.

All the way to fucking Phoenix and then the bastard just disappeared. Not my idea of a good time, but I'm back now. So, what did I miss~?

[WRATH]
Ne... Wrath, where the hell have you gotten off to? Most of your stuff wasn't at the apartment, just a few odds and ends and some clothing I don't think I've seen you wear since the blond shorty left.
[/WRATH]

≈15

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:02:27 GMT

My, my... people sure are stupid when they're sick.

≈14

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:58:56 GMT

Funny the way things happen, ain't it? One day we think we're all right, and the next day... yeah. Just goes to show ya... there ain't no way to know whether or not we'll be alive 'round the next bend, ne~? Seems people forget that.

Seems they've been forgettin' it more often as of late, too.

I got somethin' I wanna give to ~~Wrath~~ Emil. Seein' as how I ain't allowed at the hospital, I figure I need to rely on someone else to pass along the present. Anyone feel up to deliverin' a little gift to a banged up runt that could use a little positive motivation~?

≈13

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 14:51:32 GMT

[VOICE POST]

[The connection starts, the line seeming a little unstable, static heard now and then before Envy begins talking. In the background you can hear a really heavy steel door shut and the echo it produces...]

I'm glad these fuckin' journals allow posts from your phones... One fuckin' call, this is bullshit!

Monster! Those son of a bitch cops have me fuckin' detained right now. Ne, ne~ you gotta come post bail or somethin'. And tell someone to check up on Wrath, ne? Not that I fuckin' care, but I wanna be sure the little shit isn't wrecking the place and getting into my stuff.

...Dammit, that asshole's back. You better show up soon, Phoenix.

[The officer's voice interrupts, talking over Envy...]

Time's up, Imre. Hang up.

[There is a soft curse... some more static, and Envy can be heard snarling at the officer about the name the man had just referred to him by. There is some shuffling heard, as if the phone is being pried away from Envy's fingers, and then a heavy click as it is hung up and a dial tone follows... before the connection is ended.]

[/VOICE POST]

[ooc; Jackie, I hope this is okay with you, I went ahead and had him arrested... just in case we don't get to log it, but I'm still willing to if you want to. You can even have it be Maes in the post here talking to Envy, if you like, it's all up to you. I just figured I'd get this out of the way so the police had another accomplishment under their belts. If it's not all right with you, let me know and I can take it down. ♥]

≈12

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:49:08 GMT

UNTRACEABLE E-MAIL HOST, MESSAGE SENT AT 9:40 A.M.

To: Miss Rangiku Matsumoto

I am a big fan of your work, and granted I could have any wish in the world it would be to meet a dazzling entertainer such as yourself face-to-face. I have something that might be of interest to you, also. Let us call it a business proposition.

I assure you, once you see what I have to offer... you will find turning away the worst choice you could have ever made.

Meet me at 11:30 a.m. at 1658 Market Street (between Franklin and Gough) at a place you should have heard of called the ZUNI Cafe. I'm sure you'll be interested in the terms and conditions we will be discussing.

Come dressed to impress, oh, and don't keep me waiting. You could miss the chance of a lifetime.

Breakfast is on me.

≈11

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:59:37 GMT

I watched the move Seven last night. It really is a genius piece of work, ne~?

Each murder executed so perfectly, and really, who can forget the ingenuity it took to craft the demise of Gluttony, Sloth, and Lust?

It got me thinking... I've been quiet for far too long. It's high time I stirred things up a little and really gave this city something to scream for.

Who gives a rats ass about fireworks anyways, huh? They want a show, well, good ol' Envy will give them a fucking show~! ♥

≈10

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 16:57:43 GMT

You've gotta be fucking shitting me!

...Evicted. Just like that! And you'd think it'd be 'cause I was a bastard or somethin', but no... it's because the fuckin' apartment don't meet goddamn regulations or some shit. So I've got until tomorrow to get my belongings outta there and to find someplace else to go.

This is a load of bull.

To look at it ya wouldn't know I had a lot of junk, but I got a fair amount. ~~Most of it's from runs with you, Kuro, ya dumb bat.~~ I can't afford a damn storage space, and there sure as hell aren't any other apartments out there that'll give me the deals I got above Cicero...

~~SADhsadfahsfsadfjkashgdasd~~

Karasu. You can blow off the date if ya do me one favor, got it? Let me crash there for a few days, y'know, just until I get a few things straightened the hell out.

≈9

Fri, 30 May 2008 21:06:46 GMT

Two of the things I hate most in the world combined into one... it should be killed.

Fuck you, Bonkers. Fuck you, Pigs.

≈8

Sun, 25 May 2008 22:03:26 GMT

[FILTERED FROM THE POLICE]
Ne, ne~! Tell me there is someone out there interested in the bash Cicero is throwin' tonight?!

Everyone but the police and their rabble 'r welcome, just make sure ya bring some cash for your booze and for the dancers. You're going to get more than you expect either way... first and last dances are on the house!

And ladies, you don't have to pay to get in before 11PM!

Now, what's in it for you, ya ask? A party the likes of which you ain't never seen before... and will never see again! Bring yer dates, bring anyone ya like s'long as they ain't sportin' a badge or an unmarked car. Hot ladies, hot men... hot trannies for all I care! Oh, and one more thing...

...lockdown begins at midnight until 7am!
[/FILTER]

[ooc; Okay, hopefully this thread, when posted, will be allowed. It's not manditory by any means, so I can't see why it wouldn't be... anyways, here goes. Cicero, a really hellish club in one of the seediest parts of San Francisco, is holding a lockdown party tonight. It's not just any lockdown, though... it'll be an all out rave. All the stuff normally banned in strip clubs? Allowed in the open tonight. But any known cops will be pushed out at the door. That doesn't mean they can't find other ways to weasel in, of course... just know they WILL get pressured into taking hits or drinking spiked mixes, etc. So, basically... if you want your character to get humiliated or to humilate somebody else, now's your chance. Fun times lie ahead, come one come all... I'll try to have the thread up by 9PM or 10PM EST!]

≈7

Sun, 18 May 2008 14:43:29 GMT

The umbilical cord was a nice touch, but the whole thing just screams scam for attention, if you ask me.

Ne, ne~! Edward, are you keeping Emil safe?

≈6

Sun, 04 May 2008 17:09:57 GMT

Edward, I'm stealing Emil away for a short while tonight, ne~? He'll be back before midnight, no worries, and I promise not to harm a hair on his head. I'd invite you along, but these plans are for two only, oh well!

But maybe next time, hm? I'm sure the three of us could have a lot of fun~! ♥

[EMIL]
I got a hold of something you might like, kid. It's not like the switchblade I gave you, but it should prove to be just as satisfying when you use it. I'll take you on over to Cicero, ne~? Not the club itself, but my apartment above it. Tell Edward dearest that I'm treatin' ya out to dinner or somethin'. Reservation is only for two, can't squeeze him in.

...But don't use the word squeeze. ♥
[/EMIL}

≈5

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 11:46:05 GMT

Last night was fun, mind that I didn't expect to be playin' foot chauffer to some little kid. He did as he was told though, so I can't complain.

What was his name again...? Oh, right! Emil... I think I like callin' him ducky better, though.

Ne, ne~ it's too fuckin' early to be awake...

Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this with your name followed by "ology".

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Typical of me, ne~?

Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
Does my computer count?

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
I can use both, and I'll demonstrate for free!

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Shrapnel. ♥

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A man.

Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
Fuck, yeah. Shit happens. Just not often... ;D

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Maybe, but I'd rather know how so that I could stop it, or try.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Heh... I already did.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
Black, green, white... whatever.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Oh, plenty of times.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
I do it all the time, so yeah, I'd do it for cash, too.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
...Let me think about it.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Hard to say.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Fuck, yeah!

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
Sure, why the hell not.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
...come on, you're makin' this too easy. ♥

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
I'm not wearing pants. ;)

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
It's okay.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Creaky hardwood.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
...who the hell sits in a fuckin' shower?

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Zilch.

LASTOLOGY

Q: Last person who texted you?
Would require havin' a cell phone.

Q: Last person who called you?
I don't remember their name. Some business thing, though.

Q: Person you hugged?
I don't hug.

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
7

Q: Season?
Autumn

Q: Color?
Green

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
Never.

Q: Mood?
Bored! Tired...

Q: Listening to?
Dead by My Chemical Romance

Q: Watching?
YouTube

Q: Worrying about?
Worryin' ain't my thing.

Q: Wearing?
Nothing. Teehee.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
Kitchen. Was thirsty.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
...more like who.

Q: Do you smile often?
Yeah, but I tend to creep people out.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
I dunno, come 'ere and tell me what you think~! ♥

≈4

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:05:20 GMT

This looked like fun...

Mm, I'd drink me~!

The Recipe For Envy

3 parts Energy

2 parts Genius

1 part Pizzazz

Splash of Originality

Finish off with a squeeze of lime juice

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

A) List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B) Tag seven people to do the same.
C) Do not tag the person who tagged you or tag "whoever wants to do it."

1) If it's alive chances are I'll fuck it. If it's not, well that depends upon how long it's been dead. ♥

2) I don't have just one fetish... I have them all.

3) I paint my toenails. And I wear skirts. And I'm still more man than you'll ever be~! Or have, for that matter... ;D

4) I'm impressionable. When Ozzy bit the head off of a bat, so did I.

5) I see you when you're sleeping, I know when you're awake... I know if you've been bad or good...

6) If masturbation really did kill kittens there would be a lot less cats in the world on my behalf. Mostly because I really don't like cats.

7) I really am the root of all evil.

I'll tag any fucker who ain't done it, yet!

≈3

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 13:46:33 GMT

So many uptight people... s'like nobody 'round this craphole can take a fuckin' joke. Well... it wasn' my problem before, but it seems like people are makin' it.

You're all gearin' to make me look like such a villain... but if that's what'cha want, I'll be your perfect enemy.

I guess I'm a little too blatant sometimes, ne~? Oopsie, my bad!

Well, some high-on-himself doctor is probably gonna have the cops on my ass or somethin', so I gotta move. S'kinda a shame, I liked livin' above Cicero. Close to work, close to where I could get my hands on some easy meat...

Oh well, nothin' lasts forever! 'Bout time for a change, anyways. Now jus' to find a new place to crash that's reliable... that'll keep me safe. Good thing I don't got too much shit to pack up.

Ahh... and if either of you could find out for me... where Ishida Ryuuken lives... I'll make it worth your while. Bastard's talkin about sendin' folk to visit me, but he'll get a nasty visit too if he ain't fuckin' careful. I already know where the bastard works, but since that place is crawlin' with pigs I think I'd rather not go there at the moment.

...Unless I pulled out a few old costumes I used to use. You remember those, Kuro~? Even you didn' recognize me a few times~! ♥

≈2

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:06:39 GMT

Spending your Saturday morning at the hospital switching babies is fun. ♥

Woulda been more fun if I had have been able to toss some into the dumpsters out back, but there were too many fuckin' pigs around.

So, shit got blown up, huh? If ya ask me, this fucking town could use the remodeling anyways. Kudos to the man behind the mayhem. I'm you're number one fan, by the way~! ♥

Ahh... but more seriously, whores and faggots, what say you we get over all the boo-hooing, huh? It's not like anyone lost a fuckin' eyeball. I'm sure I woulda heard about that.

...But if anyone did lose an eyeball could you ship it my way? Goes good shredded with rice.

≈1

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 14:06:19 GMT

Found some junk computer and hooked it up at home.

Honestly, the idiots who throw these things out really need to learn how to wipe their personal information clean. I mean, I've got numbers here that could run lives into the ground.

Mmm... I know what I'll be doing with my Saturday evening!

Oh, yeah. Since it's all the rage right now, I'll make a comment on the most recent disaster to strike the city and shake the hearts of us all~!

Someone celebrates the fact they got a smashin' new hummer. A building gets a bigger entrance because of it. Boo-fucking-hoo~! A girl gets to suck up her dinner through a long shaft. What else is fuckin' new? Everybody pretends like they give a shit so we can all move on. Hooray~!! Yeah, that about sums it up, huh? So, when's the next city wide drama goin' down? I want a front row seat this time and some notice so that I can have me some grub ready to watch.

Nothin' tastes better with popcorn than fear salting the air, after all.